Jewish Community Partners

Sheri Gadberry, Senior Philanthropic Officer and Executive Vice President of the Foundation, Jewish Community Partners

What will your family remember about you after you’re gone?

Nearly 50 individuals gathered in late March to explore this question at an insightful event hosted by the Jewish Foundation of Memphis. Attorney and ethical wills expert, Scott Zucker, led attendees in an interactive presentation on ethical wills and how they serve as a powerful legacy, transcending the traditional financial will.

Unlike a financial will, an ethical will focuses on sharing values, life lessons, and personal stories.

“We have all lived beautiful lives, but we fear being forgotten,” Zucker said. “Recording who we are is a way to deal with that.”

Zucker highlighted the versatility of these documents, noting that they can take various forms, including poems, songs, and letters around significant life events like weddings or births. He began the session by playing a section of Cat Stevens’ “Father and Son,” which he said could be understood as a musical version of an ethical will.

The topic is personal to Zucker, who recounted losing his parents in his twenties, a loss that left him with unanswered questions. This experience motivated him to create an ethical will for his own sons, a project he discovered was deeply rooted in Jewish tradition, a concept his Rabbi identified as Zava’ah, which refers to the passage of spiritual wealth. In the Torah, Jacob is described gathering his children around his deathbed to teach them how to live after his death.  

Attendees at the Jewish Foundation event received a workbook for creating their own ethical wills, and were encouraged to reflect on their own legacies. Participants engaged in discussions, offering advice to their 20-year-old selves and brainstorming questions they wished they could have asked deceased parents or grandparents.

Zucker injected humor into the session, joking that ethical wills are not the place for negativity, discouraging phrases like, “I never liked you.” He also addressed the sensitive topic of burial plans, suggesting that writing them down might be easier than voicing them aloud.

Personal anecdotes further illustrated the power of these documents. Laura Linder, CEO of Jewish Community Partners, reflected on the handwritten recipe cards she inherited from her grandmother and letters containing dating advice received during her time at camp. Others brought up letters, drawings, and stories from relatives, especially those from the “old country.”

Sharing a glimpse into his own ethical will, Zucker discussed his “60 things I learned about being 60,” a collection of reflections on topics ranging from baseball and music to marriage and jealousy. He included a poignant quote from his father: “Life can be a battle but worth the fight.”

Several financial advisors and attorneys attended the event and received continuing education credit for their participation. Zucker encouraged them to incorporate ethical wills into their practice, noting that it enriches the client experience.

“Scott’s presentation was very meaningful and gave me topics to discuss with my clients beyond the legal aspects of their plan,” said past Chair of the Foundation and estate planning attorney Jason Salomon. 

“Scott’s message was incredibly well-received,” said past Chair of the Foundation and financial professional Anthony Morrison. “I strongly encourage my clients to cement their financial and values (charitable) legacies, but I had never previously considered the profound impact an ethical will can have on one’s children and grandchildren. I plan to do one myself and to encourage older clients and relatives to do the same.”

While ethical wills can be a powerful tool for preserving personal legacy, Zucker emphasized that, in additional to passing on spiritual wealth, it is particularly important after the events of October 7^th that Jewish people give philanthropically to Jewish institutions.

“After Oct 7, the legacy of who the Jewish people are is at risk if we don’t give,” Zucker said. “Your legacy will survive only if we survive.”

For those interested in learning more, Zucker recommended his TED Talk as a valuable resource. If you missed the event and would like to explore creating your own ethical will, reach out to Sheri Gadberry at the Jewish Foundation of Memphis at sgadberry@jcpmemphis.org.